Are we THERE yet?!

If I start counting my weeks post-maternity leave, this is going to be like another pregnancy with no due date. :-0 I have to stop.
Today, is Friday. I usually look forward to Fridays, but now it has been elevated in status due to the fact I don't have to work and I get to spend the day with O.
I guess the bonus of working is that I definitely appreciate the time I DO spend with her. You hear that a lot from working moms: you are a better parent because you aren't 24-7 baby and you appreciate the precious time you have with your angel. I would say that is too true. (the appreciating part..the better parent part will have to be determined when O learns to talk and makes me feel guilty about leaving her).
I was just e-mailing a former coworker about my feelings about returning to work. I have to say, I find that I had just hit my stride as a mom and then I have to leave it all. It's not been as unbearable as I thought it would be, but I am not one of those woman who can't be without her profession...I really liked being a mom. O makes it seem easy and her smiles are always the best reward. I'll have to train my coworkers to smile like a three-month-old....
We feel empowered as women when we achieve certain statuses (stati?) in male dominated profession. Like, when I became a licenced architect, I felt pretty good...that some of that education had paid off. But, post-baby, I envy women who work in more female-oriented professions...whatever they may be... Don't get me wrong, having Karen (yes, shout out to you, Karen) in the office has been a huge blessing to have such a great supportive experienced mom to be there for me at work...but there are times, like last Tuesday, when it was just me and the boys and I needed a pump break. When you are out in the field, there really isn't as subtle way to sneak off and pump and I am not aware of another excuse to come up with that would allow me to disappear for 20 minutes. So, I had to actually say to my boss "I have to go pump." I might as well have said, I have my period...it gets the same awkward response when you bring to a man's attention that you have woman issues. Not like making breastmilk is an "issue" to me, but I am pretty sure my boss is not used to having an employee who needs to take pump breaks.
It was pretty rough, though, on Tuesday because I couldn't find an opportune time to take such an extended break, so I waited until after lunch. That is a pretty long time to go sans release. By the time I attached those cone shaped suckers to me, I was in some pain and the girls were pretty rock solid. Not exactly a pleasant experience. I need to learn to be a little stronger about just doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I don't want them exploding or anything. My dread is, in the future, my boss has Tuesdays booked with meetings. Great for him, getting CA meetings out of the way all in one day...I am already panicking about when I am going to be able to pump. Not a woman in sight for any of these meetings to lend a sympathetic glance. :-(
Today is sunny (finally). I am debating on returning to the Children's Museum with O. Not much there for three-month olds, but there is stuff. I just don't want to show up and find the place swarming with kids running everywhere. I don't hate kids, of course I love my own, but I hate kids en-masse and mommies who have tunnel vision for their own tots and don't have consideration for others. I shouldn't judge, though, I am sure I will be "that mom" one day....and proud of it! Maybe just a walk to the library will do. You have to be quiet there.
Olivia is starting to turn over in her crib. The other night I found her 90 degrees from where she started. I am not sure whether to be excited about the accomplishment, or scared that she is starting to become more mobile. I'll take the former...
This week at daycare, she got just great reviews! Also, grandma daycare brought O to my work yesterday. I got to have lunch with two of my favorite people in the world. It was a great way to end the work week. Plus, I forgot how wonderful that Indian buffet was at the place by my work. YUM!
06.08.09
JOHN: Looks like 3 naps ( 2 short, 1 long) this morning. Caregiver was just finishing with the 2nd bottle when I went down. Olivia smiled when she recognized me. Played with her for a bit. She was pretty chatty and grabbing the chain link toys. So, business as usual. I'm sure we'll start hearing actual words soon.
TEACHER COMMENTS: Great day! She's been giving me a lot of smiles today. Cooing and making lots of happy sounds. Took lots of naps. Went to nap on her own. She had fun on the floor while touching the hanging toy by the mirror. Happy mood :)
06.10.09
JOHN: I got there as the 2nd bottle went down… Olivia smiled when she saw me… then a couple of big burps on my lap and a little came back up. Saved by the bib. Other than that it was the same as usual - smiley, happy and chatty. Caregiver is thinking she may have to tap my secret stash of formula. We shall see.
TEACHER COMMENTS: Great day! Happy mood :) She's been happy and continued on the floor mat while looking and touching the hanging toys. She loved looking at the musical mobile in her crib. Cooing and smiling a lot.