Everything I needed to know, I learned from O

(random words of wisdom, in no particular order)
1. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Okay, that might be a LOT of sleep, but if you can, try the morning sleep schedule.
2. Some rules need breakin'
3. Some rules are there for a reason. If you follow them, you will be surprised at how they work in your favor.
4. Do not remove a loaded boob from a baby's mouth. (there will be spray-iage on her tiny face)
5. Change a loaded diaper or suffer the consequences.
6. If you lie a loaded baby on her back, there will be spit-up.
7. There is no relation to size and strength when it comes to baby farts. That is why they are handy to have...you can always blame the baby.
8. A baby will always surprise you... Things you never thought would make your day, like when she looks into your eyes, just make life worth living.
7. You actually don't move in your sleep when sleeping with a baby. (this is not a steadfast rule, but it worked for me) Sleeping with your baby is heaven. Heaven times infinity when you both get some zzzz's.
8. Nothing can top a baby smile. Nothing.
9. Babies can sleep through a lot. Loud noises, full diapers... What wakes them up? HUNGER. so keep them fed and sleep a little longer.
10. Compared to baby s%($, my s#*$ DON'T stink.
11. You can't spoil a baby for the first 3.5 months (depending on what pediatrician you have.) So love them, let them sleep with you, love them some more. They're not as difficult as everyone makes it out to be...or, it is, but you don't mind.
12. Having family close by is an immeasurable blessing. It allows you to go to the gym or just have a walking buddy or have a must-do romantic evening with your husband.
13. You learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life and in your home...especially when it takes forever to get out the door.
14. Learn to multitask. If you can do something else while breastfeeding, it can be entertaining if not efficient. You feel like there is nothing you can't do.
15. It would be nice to have an extra hand if you have a baby. Yes, all mothers would look like freaks, but they would have brushed hair and teeth.
16. If you raised a baby solo, there really IS nothing you can't do.
17. That said, there is nothing like having someone to take the baby so you can go to the bathroom, pump, eat, brush your teeth, wash your face....
18. You really rethink what needs to get done during the day if you have three-hour-between feedings. Those mothers who have coiffed, highlighted hair and washboard abs have a staff or are figments of your imagination.
19. If you are breastfeeding, you will KNOW when your baby needs to eat next, if, for some freakish reason he or she hasn't informed you himself.
20. When your milk production goes up, you feel like you won the lottery.
21. Breastfeeding burns 500 calories. It helps lessen the guilt of not being able to make it to the gym.
22. The library is your friend. Learn it, live it, love it.
23. 12 weeks go by faster than you can ever imagine. Move to Europe or Canada before you give birth. they have 9 month to a year maternity leave.
24. Don't rely on your brain for much when you are sleep deprived. Keep a notepad handy for anything you think needs doing. Then, hand that notepad to your husband when he gets home. ;-)
25. Harry Potter is a curse and a blessing. The books are of Biblical lengths, but they will get you through maternity leave, have your baby hear your voice a LOT, and no repeats!
26. Start a blog. It's cathartic. Plus, when people tell you they've missed the updates if you take any kind of hiatus, it makes you feel important and loved ;-)
27. It's amazing how calm you find yourself under pressure. When there is a little helpless angel who needs you, you focus like a big focused thingy.
28. Don't have expectations about how your labor will go based on what happened to your friends or family. ESPECIALLY if her labor was "quick and easy". Plan for the worst and be pleasantly surprised. It's better than the other way around.
29. Zen is a baby holding your finger.
30. Did I mention that thing about the baby's smile? :-D
31. It is no longer about you. But, don't forget you. It doesn't help anyone if you do.
32. Make sure your friends and family know that you appreciate them and love them. (It's good to have someone affirm your belief that your baby is amazing and you are more than her servant.)
33. Don't think the worst of your husband if he can't read your mind. He will surprise and amaze you if you just ask for his help.
34. You will become a germ-nazi. Learn multiple, pleasant ways to ask people to wash their hands or not touch the baby.
35. Watch and learn from the pros. If you see other mothers interact with their babies in ways that you think are amazing, take note!
36. It is amazing the wealth of knowledge you gain in a short period of time about all things baby. It's like immersing yourself in a new language. When you need to know it, you learn it..FAST. This also means that mothers of older babies know tons more than you. So ask them if you have a question.
37. OR, if there is a question you have about all things baby, I can guarantee it has been asked and answered on the internet. Google is your friend.
38. Facebook is the fastest way to show everyone how adorable your baby is. (Of course, it can never compare to the real thing)
39. If you think you'll find the time during your maternity leave to learn a new language or improve your professional skills in some way or get back to your pre-baby weight, you are in for a rude awakening.
40. You will have a new appreciation and meaning for baby fat. Embrace the pooch. It will keep you calm and unaffected when people think you are still pregnant.
41. Make no sudden movements or loud noises when there is a baby attached to your breast.
42. Formula can save your life. Don't have any misgivings about it, but buy the ones in the premeasured packets if you know you can't go through an entire container in one month (that's how long it's good for as soon as you open it).
43. Baby seats and swings are lifesavers. You get your hands for five minutes up to an hour. Go forth and eat.
44. After nine months of not drinking, you are a cheap date and you appreciate every sip of wine or beer and Guinness is now something you drink because it helps your milk production.
45. Murphy and his damn law.
46. When a doctor tells you that things will get better after a certain period of time, they will. Learn patience.
47. Cutting a baby's finger nails is an extremely frightening task. If you accidentally draw blood, don't worry, you are not the first mother to do so and you are NOT a terrible mother, even though you will think you are from the way your baby is crying.
48. You may never look like that happy mother and baby in those baby sling commercials.
49. Have no judgements about epidurals. You don't know what pain is until your epidural wears off. You don't get a prize for suffering after your baby is born. We all get the same prize of a bundle of joy.
50. Make sure, if you work, it is in an environment that is supportive of having children. You will need as much time and flexibility as possible. Whatever you think you need, you need more.
51. If you aren't known for patience, your baby has a lesson or ten thousand for you.
52. Just when you think you are on top of things, it all changes.