Baby Gates and Headaches

It’s happening. O is beginning to army crawl (aka crawl without lifting her mid-section off the ground). We all know crawling is just around the corner and that means I can no longer walk away from her and be confident that she’ll be in the same place and out of mischief/danger. In a way I want this to happen because it’s just another checkmark off the list of things she’s supposed to be doing before she’s 1. Personally I encourage her to crawl knowing that she “should” at some point because I am impatient. I will admit it. I get slightly concerned about what she needs to be doing at her age and then as soon as she shows some minor sign of attempting to do it, I clear the floor and give her room to groove. Of course, it’s not all me…since this eventually happens in it’s own time, but all I am saying is I am glad we’re starting to see her work at it. And, if I were truly truly honest with myself about the whole milestone obsession it's because I have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I have this amazing baby I almost constantly feel like I don't deserve. (While I do acknowledge that this may all just be a well-deserved rest before she becomes a teenager.)After speaking with my friend last night, though, I realized that this means baby-gates. It’s amazing the amount of space such a small person can take over in our already tight space. The pack and play alone is half our living room. Now baby gates?! You know what this says: “your house is a deathtrap”. It’s amazing how you’ve learned to live in a place for so long and have this go unnoticed. I liken it to walking by the Chateau du Versailles every day on the way to school when I was studying abroad. You get used to seeing it you forget that it’s kinda important. Next on my list: eating solids, sitting unsupported, and saying “mama”. Regarding the solids: I see parents feeding their babies solids all the time, so it can’t be that hard a concept to grasp, but it still is sending me into panic mode. How the heck am I going to start this? How much, how often? Fruits, grains, veggies? Should I make it myself? I am strongly considering making my own baby food. My friend and fellow hot mama said that it’s a half an hour on a weekend for food for a week. That sounds appealing to me. I mean, I do love to cook, so this should be a labour of love… Then there’s how to work this out with daycare. I am sure they’ll be able to figure it out before I do…being experts and all…but it is still the road untraveled for me. It’s not just breastmilk (or formula) anymore. That’s another thing I was thinking about yesterday…breastfeeding (yes, again.) I have gotten so used to pumping, wearing breast pads, having sensitive nipples, being “full” in the morning that I think I am now going to miss it if I stopped. (since we are nearing the 6 month mark, it is something I am contemplating). It’s like when you’re pregnant, you get used to being huge and having to pee all of the time you forget what life was like without it. While we’re on the topic…another side affect of breastfeeding/giving birth that no one tells you about is that you get dry “down there”. I forget what the doctor told me as to why this is the case, but maybe it has something to do with nature making sure you take care of one baby before you try again.. Anyway, I discussed this with my doctor and she gave me a script for a cream. (The name escapes me right now) but this (really expensive, even AFTER insurance) After I got my prescription filled, I come to find out that this cream is for menopausal women. (insert joke here.) WHAT did this baby do to me?!?!?! Upon further reading, in the hard-to-miss side-effects page is that this cream can cause headaches and, wait for it, decreased interest in sex. So, you are no longer dry down there, but who gives a crap? Could they make any drug that actually cures the symptom without decreasing the reason why you are medicating in the first place? When you have to question if the benefits of a drug outweigh the “mild cases of death” you might experience? Not to mention, the obvious question: HOW does one get a headache from a cream applied to the nether-region? Fortunately, it’s day one after my first use of this cream and I don’t feel headaches…so maybe I dodged that bullet. On the other hand, what’s a headache or two when you haven’t had your period in 15 months and counting?
I'll finish with a funny story: (that has to do with, you guessed it, breastfeeding). Since I have been pumping for going on 3 months now, I have abandoned all timidity when it comes to doing it at work. I have long since stopped going to another part of the building to a sorely underutilized public conference room, to the conference room in our office, right next to my boss. Now, there may as well not be any walls for the amount of acoustic-blocking value the partitions have in our office. I guess it's mostly a visual thing because it ain't acoustical. So, I am sure he can hear each suck in and out of the pump. Why am I so sure about this? Well, he seems to now be well aware of my need to pump as he scheduled two back to back meetings this morning and joked about me having some time to go back to the office to "what-is-it....pump?"

Observation

One of the things I keep forgetting to comment on is how much Olivia enjoys watching what's going on around her. Especially as it pertains to other babies. I keep imagining that she is taking it all in and learning the ropes of babydome. She loves to watch other kids at daycare and she loves to watch me as I eat in front of her. Sometimes she'll make like she's chewing. I love that she's so observant, as it means to me like she's an avid learner. I just can't wait to see how this evolves as she grows up....how this affects her career choices.
Ironically, she is not big on looking at herself in the mirror. When I bring her to a mirror in our house, she smiles (boy, do I love that smile) and she turns her head to look at something else. I mean, she is unbelievably cute...perhaps it's too much for her ;-)

This is what we live for!

Almost...

Olivia is moving to that next stage in babyhood where she is trying to crawl. She's got the rolling over part down-town. But she is never satisfied with the status quo. Now, when on her belly, she tries to stick her knees into her stomach and push herself forward. Unfortunately, without the arm part of the scenario, she is mostly face planting...but I gotta give her props for trying. I guess we need to do some arms and abs workouts. That will be how I make my millions...baby workout videos.
My new obsession is baby language dvd's and cd's. I have found some really good ones at the library (my new best friend). I am hoping that this really gives her a leg up in the language department. I still regret not being bilingual. I mean, I can get by in Spanish, but I should be fluent with a Cuban father and a fluent mother. The good thing is, Olivia now has a Cuban grandfather and fluent grandmother and we can make up for lost time... I hope.
I am already so proud of my baby. I would like to attribute how wonderful she is to my stellar parenting skills, but since I am just making this up as I go...I really can't do that. Perhaps I lucked into the perfect combination of daycare...the one at John's work and my parents. Perhaps it's breastfeeding. Perhaps it's that I never solely breastfed or formula-fed. Perhaps it was cosleeping. (the last one is not recommended by the American Pediatric Society. But, I have to say a big "Screw that" to them since my baby is now an angel in the sleeping department....most nights I just put her in her crib and she sooths herself to sleep...no pacifier...no music...)
I realize I talk a lot about breastfeeding. I am not sure if it's me or if it's all woman who have "working" boobs that become obsessed with them. It's hard not to. A) They're bigger B)They're pretty damn sensitive C)Nothing like pumping to make you see your boobs in a very non sexy way. Well, it has come to five months and one week of Olivia's time on earth and my breastfeeding. (I mostly pump now and she feeds via bottle). I notice that my production is drying up. She usually has about 6 ounces a feed now and I produce 3-4 ounces per pump. (Suck is a better term for it...on so many levels).
At 6 months is the time when she can start on solids. (So says my pediatrician) I am having a huge internal debate on whether I should give up the breastfeeding at this time or keep going....I mean, my boobs seem to be giving up, why shouldn't I? It would be nice not to have to worry about what I drink or pumping before working out (because working out on full boobs is NOT comfortable), or pumping at work and having to carry around my milk with me on job sites because it can't sit, baking, in the car. But is that a good trade-off for free and good nutrients for Olivia? Is that a good trade off for my bigger boobs (well, I should say boob, because the left one has never produced more than an ounce or two), no period (yes, ladies...no period) and the calorie burning? Then, there's the fact that I should consider myself really lucky I can produce milk. It seems giving up is a slap in the face to those who tried and wanted, but their bodies made the decision for them. I guess the answer lies somewhere in between...I think I am going to stop pumping at work after Olivia's six month mark. Maybe.